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7/20/08 05:45 pm

In case y'allz been wonderin', I've switched to smearing my negative opinions and dark little observations here: chrishateseverything.blogspot.com

5/1/08 09:29 pm

I just threw up my hands, said "What the Hell is wrong with everybody?!" outloud to myself (nobody's home) and opened a beer and drank half of it. That's really all the updating I feel I need to do.

3/19/08 09:10 am - We roll out the red carpet when rotten luck comes down the road.

I don't update anymore because all I'd do is complain. There's always a "What's next?" in the list of crappy events that have filled the last few months. I feel like I'm watching my life on TV. Oh, and today's "What's next" was my Grandpa passing away last night.

2/16/08 08:24 pm - Goodbye Sweetheart.

I had to give Zero up for adoption today because of her excessive violence. I really don't know what to say other than that, most of you know how much I loved that Cat, and I wouldn't have done it if I didn't feel she was really mentally unstable and dangerous.


"Horrendous, Horrendous. It's worse than a human passing away. The cat doesn't fully understand. They're looking to you. they're relying on you to get them through this, and you can't...I cried for hours and hours and hours. This sound came out of me, this sound of despair when he went, and I'd never heard it before."

-Morrissey

2/15/08 10:24 pm

No matter what, it can always get worse.

2/11/08 12:43 pm - A man shouldn't have to shoot his own horse.

Right now I'm waiting for Animal Control to come help me get Zero into her carrier. She went berserk yesterday when my friend Marsha was over and started attacking everyone in the house, including me. She's been like this since yesterday afternoon and I have no idea what's wrong or what to do, I might have to put her down if this isn't something anyone can fix. I guess this answers the "What shitty thing could possibly happen next?" question that lives in the back of my mind.

1/23/08 09:10 am - Death was hangin' out, his buddies were there...

The world got mean, really fast.


Edit: Somehow, this was actually posted before I went down to my car to find that someone had broken in, thrown everything from the glovebox and every storage space in my car around, stolen the stereo, smoked enough Menthol cigarettes to make my car smell all day, and fucking SLEPT in my car.

1/16/08 10:01 pm - Truly, Truly, Truly...

As immature as I know it is, I cannot stand being ignored. It happens more often that I'd like to mention and it plagues me to no end. In this age where text/internet based correspondence is what our generation considers friendship, I feel like I'm not asking for much...But people will do what people will do, and few will really ever pay attention to that Golden Rule of "Treat others as you would like to be treated." I hope and wait and pray for the light on my wireless phone to blink the color that indicates that someone has sent me a readable message of some sort...Now I guess I know how a man in Prison feels when he lowers his standards of joy and satisfaction and looks forward to a day outside and a hot meal. Fucking disgusting.

1/1/08 03:58 pm - Up there the bottle never runs dry, and you never wake up with them tears in your eyes...

Well, the New Year's party was a success. Lots of people and a surprisingly small mess to clean up this morning. I was proud I made it to Midnight, but every time I tried to escape to bed, Joe or Riley would come and physically pick me up and make me hang out...I made it 'til 2am, which is pretty, pretty...pretty late for me.


I have 7 days of school left for the rest of my life (unless I decide to pursue a Master's or something like that, but I doubt I'll ever have the time or money). All kinds of things have been changing lately...it's kinda like a year's worth of crap got stuffed into the last month and a half, but I guess a new year is an appropriate time for change. One change I'm not happy about is my persistent pessimism (Alliteration somewhat intended) and loneliness. I don't want to think crappy thoughts all day, but I do. I daydream about girls that used to be and girls that never were and I find myself bored with everything, constantly looking at the clock, waiting for bedtime. All I ever want to do is go to bed. I feel like something has to change soon (it just has to, right?) but until then, I'll just bide my time and hug the cat a little harder than I should when nobody's looking.


P.S. I finished reading Lonesome Dove...I highly recommend it to anyone with any interest in the American West, it's one of the better books I've ever read.

12/23/07 08:28 pm

Cheap shots seem to be the special tonight, yet the contents of my wallet haven't changed and I'm unpleasantly sober.



"Every time Roscoe tried to think back along the line of events that had led to his being in a place where there was no trees to lean against, he strayed off the line and soon got all tangled up in his thinking. It was probably better not to try and think back the line of life."

(Larry McMurtry, Lonesome Dove 502)

12/21/07 08:58 pm - Shit.

Does it count as being negative when you realize you dislike the fact that you are a negative person?

12/8/07 11:18 pm - Fuck an Update

I've been meaning to update for quite some time, but I can never really bring myself to do it. I moved into a new apartment with Chon and Julie...It's a rad place. Living with people is super weird after living alone for so long, but it's definitely a good thing. I've been going through a lot of changes (No, not puberty), and it's strange to be able to step back during the process and recognize what's going on (Even if you don't quite understand it). I guess I'll update more on that when I feel like I have something real to say.I think I just feel older.


I graduate from school March 14th, even though I'm done January 22nd. It feels good to be done, and I'm proud of myself. I never took a single five week term off, and I've been working and going to school through the last few classes I've taken. My Grandpa turns 90 in two days, and I'm here in San Diego right now to celebrate. He's doing quite well for his age, but has had some recent health scares that caused him to lose his driver's license and have a nurse come in a few times a week to care for him. I can't imagine how it feels to be that old, but a big part of me thinks I'll find out, whether I want to or not.


I've had a lot of time with my family since I've been here, and I'm so lucky to have nice, intelligent parents. We all discussed our lack of religious belief today, which was awesome to hear. Believing in God means you are either too dumb or too lazy (usually the first) to learn how the world works. Religion is a crutch, something for the weak to believe in and blame when life doesn't go their way. I can't believe how much I hate it.


Some other crappy events have popped up here and there recently, but they've rolled off my back with relative ease. I guess I've more or less accepted that I don't like the world and I don't like that I realize how terrible it is, but I deal with it, cause what else can ya do?

11/28/07 09:29 pm - Theoretically, it really tied the room together.

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11/15/07 09:16 pm - I want to be so rich that I can beat off to nothing but the concept of my own life.

All I do is daydream about this life I don't have, and I do mean that's all I do. I won't bore you with details, but it's not much like reality. My life isn't even bad...I can't imagine what occupies the minds of people worse off than myself. I feel the same way about the rest of my life as one does about waking up early as a kid...it's like "Come on...Really?".


I lack motivation to a disgusting extent these days. It's not like I'm actually tired by 10pm every night, I just don't like being awake very much.

10/19/07 01:03 pm - I can has job?

So, thanks to a friend of mine at school, I now have an ultra easy but pretty dull office job at "Data Reproduction Services" (I don't think they could have thought up a duller name if they tried). Basically we're the middleman between hospitals and attourneys when it comes to obtaining and sending out medical records. I never know such a business existed. I'm one of 4 employees and I get $10/hour, under the table, and I can work whenever I want, and most of the time work with a pretty good friend. I'm really looking forward to saying "no I can't, I don't have any money" a lot less often than I do now. In other news, I'm moving in with Chon and Julie soon, maybe to a place on 9th and Geary they checked out while I was at work and said was pretty sweet. It's been a long long time since I've lived with anyone, so it'll take some getting used to, but it should be pretty rad.

10/17/07 09:06 am

Sometimes, ships are just unsalvagable. They're far too deep and heavy to raise to drydock and the hulls are far too rusted to risk the prospect of some of the watertight compartments inside the ship remaining intact.

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10/10/07 09:48 am

I've decided against moving to Southern California immediately after school. The coolest job in the world (Which I can almost guarantee I wouldn't get right out of school) isn't worth leaving the best friends I've ever had back in San Francisco. I'd be miserable down there anyway, and besides, we have a bike video to finish and far too many Budweisers to drink before I go anywhere.

9/30/07 06:55 am - King of the Idiots.

This is the best my life is going to be for a long, long time. I can't physically type "Fuck" enough times after that statement to accurately express the lack of enthusiasm with which I say that or the fear of what lies in the years to come.

9/18/07 10:22 am - Probably nerdier than Video Games

Living alone and being the only single one in my group of friends is kind of like that Seinfeld where George stops having sex and gets incredibly smart. On my coffee table are a CD of Bach's Well Tempered Clavier, Book 1, a Yo-Yo Ma CD, and a book by Stephen Hawking...all checked out from the library. I've also been inspired by this sweet metal band Necrophagist that Joe and I discovered to incoporate some classical pieces into Coffin, and I've been working on putting Bach's Fugue in G Minor as a solo in one song. Now if that's not dorky, I dunno what is.

9/17/07 02:04 pm

Last night's dream consisted of me going to an outdoor Smashing Pumpkins concert and them ending their set in powdered wigs and those shirts with Tuxedos printed on them playing Beethoven's 5th Symphony on 2 violins (Billy Corgan waited until the very end to bust his out and make it 3) and a drumset. Oh Walgreens brand sleeping pills, what will you come up with next...
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